So... I think this is it. I've given it some thought, and I think I've grown out of xanga. I mean, it's been a great (wow) almost three years, but honestly? I just don't need it anymore. It is one more thing to waste my time on, one more outlet for me to vent into, one more extra thing to do during the day. I think that a month of no posts speaks for itself. So...I guess my New Year's resolution is this...

Goodbye Xanga. I'll think of you occasionally, miss you infrequently, and regret leaving you from time to time. I think this is the best for both of us. Here's looking at you, kid.

Um.

I'm a hopeless romantic. I guess I'll just have to deal.

..

I just want to make a difference. That's all I'm asking. But it's so hard. I want to fix everyone that's having a less than perfect life. I want to give clothes and toys and sewage systems to children without any. I want to help rid the world of disease. My life is too short for all of this. Life is too short for all the crap we deal with at school. I want to be done with crap, and get on with my life. I want to DO SOMETHING!

I hate high school.

 They say, write what you know. But sometimes that's the hardest thing to do. It's not hard to write about affairs, surgeries, disabilities if you know nothing about them. In fact, it makes it easier, because you don't have to worry about truth. But as soon as truth, and knowledge enter the picture, what was originally a simple task becomes a difficult quest. A quest to accurately describe pain, emotions, memories. A quest to draw your audience into what you feel, or what you felt. Truth is much sought after, but not easily attainable. That's why it hurts so much once you get it.

...

On a happier note, I'm in love. He's so wonderful. So stoic. So beautiful. The only thing that could possibly make him any better is if he were about eighteen years old, lived in Appleton WI, and actually existed in the real world. Is it a crime to be in love with a fictional character? Is it any different than being in love with a boy you know you'll never be with? Is it any different than fantasizing about George Clooney or Jake Gyllenhaal?

Um, yeah. Because those things merely signify that you are female. Being in love with a fictional character from a nineteenth century romance novel means you're a dork.

I love you, Mr. Darcy.

P.S. This is my cat. Meow.

Currently Reading Pride and Prejudice (Cover to Cover Classics) By Jane Austen see related

Turkey. Cranberry sauce. Stuffing. Mashed potatoes. Pumpkin pie. Apple pie. Whipped cream.

Pretty sure my stomach is going to explode just THINKING about all of this food.

So what are you thankful for? I'll go first.

• Mittens
• My sister
• My cat
• Mr. Darcy
• My brother
• Snow
• My job
• My dad's job
• Alias
• All of the people I love
• My butt (even if it is slightly too large)

And as soon as we're done being thankful for what we have, it's onto the Christmas season, in which we complain and whine and dream about all that we don't. Happy Thanksgiving.

It's amazing how we change over the course of a year. I challenge you to look back on your xanga entry from a year ago today. What did you care about that day? What were you worried about? Happy about? Does it even matter anymore? Xanga, although a horrible time-waster, provides a lot of perspective on life. Will it really matter a year from now who you like? Or what someone said? Or what grade you got on a quiz? Does it really matter all that much in the long run?

A year ago, I was pining over a boy that wasn't worth it. What were you doing a year ago?

It's been a while. I missed you guys.